And Then it Hits You…

Read my entire hysterectomy journey in order by starting here (click).

Surgery is thisFriday (for those who missed the original post, you can read about it here.) It never ceases to amaze me how quickly time passes us by.

Barcelona was busy. SO busy. I was gone eight days, but it felt like a month. There really was no sight-seeing, but we did enjoy some fabulous dinners and pretty insightful conversations as co-workers during our time there. Sufficed to say, as a team we were happy to have accomplished what we were there to do, but even happier to get back home.

My mind has been so busy with making sure things ran smoothly, there was not really any time to think about the surgery. A few people who know about it would inquire as to how I was doing and my reply would be, “It hasn’t hit me yet.” It really hadn’t. At all…

Then I got home.

I spent time with the hubs. We ran errands; mailed souvenirs, caught up with each other and I unpacked. I returned to the office and before I knew it I was looking at the calendar realizing the time to my procedure could be counted in the form of days rather than months or weeks. Wow.

Usually, the next ‘event’ I’m looking toward requires getting on a plane or in a car and driving a handful hours. This time, it requires an unpleasant prep and hospital stay. This weekend it finally hit me.

The weather here has been nothing short of perfect. Saturday, the hubs and I hit the Farmer’s Market, had brunch, walked around downtown San Diego, pampered ourselves and had a fabulous dinner. 

Today we went on a ride through the mountains and orange groves and I just inhaled taking it all in – including the aromas and air all around me. Tears came to my eyes.

In the moments on the back of the bike I was just so grateful for this life and for a family and husband who are so incredibly supportive. All of this is so beyond precious to me there are no words worthy of describing how lucky I feel as a daughter and a wife.

 I’ve been fighting for so many years for my health; for hope and resolution all at once. This seems like such a drastic move, yet I know it’s such a necessary one. I hope I will finally arrive at my destination; a quality of life that no longer includes days of suffering, painkillers and feeling like a prisoner to my own body.

I will await the call for my pre-op and get a step closer toward this goal. Lucious Annaeus Seneca once said, “The wish for healing has always been half of health.” It’s time to make the wishes come true…

Thank you to all who have sent their positive thoughts. It means so much.

For those following along, and for those who might be on their own journeys, I will update after the pre-op. 

Have a great rest of the weekend,

H.